We all have moments when we feel sorry for ourselves. It’s natural because we are human. The real test is do we stay in this moment of self pity? Are we able to pick ourselves back up and move on?
Lately, I have been struggling on the self pity train. This blog is my outlet, so I wanted to talk about my current feelings and frustrations. What is bothering me and what I am doing about it. Because I have two options: keep the cycle of self pity going or address it and move on.
Monday morning I woke up feeling “blah”. I felt unmotivated, unhappy and just miserable about life. Why? I had an amazing weekend and even had family over for dinner. It was a great weekend filled with fun and relaxing. So why did I wake up Monday feeling like my life sucks. I believe it was a combination of ruminating feelings.
I haven’t been on track with maintaining my weight loss. I have been eating whatever I want. I haven’t been working out in the mornings like I wanted to. I get up early but lounge around in bed on my phone doing who knows what. I currently have no projects going on and I feel bored and lazy. On a career note, my company is changing hands and while I am not losing my job the thought of change is daunting.
So instead of facing my feelings the past few days I have been overeating and feeling sorry for myself. Putting myself down by calling myself fat, lazy, unmotivated and by telling myself these things I start to believe them. It does not help saying these negative things and instead it makes me pity myself more. The reality is that if this is the worse of my problems then I am doing great. I can accept the fact that these are my issues and struggles and they are real to me, but the reality is these are nothing compared to what others are dealing with.
So this morning I woke up and said Enough is enough! I allowed myself to wallow in my self pity for a few days until I decided I needed to stop and make a change.
So this morning, I woke up and got out of bed with my alarm clock. I did a 30 minute workout and prepared for the day. My goal is to get back on track with my health and my goals. Here are some ways to deal with feeling sorry for yourself.
Validation. Your feelings are your own. They maybe incorrect but they are yours. Validate your feelings but realize you need to validate and move on.
Practice Gratitude. Notice good things. Look for them. Appreciate them. Accept them. Remember your life could always be worse. There are good things happening in your life. You just need to open your eyes. If your reading this then you are alive! Your lungs are filled with oxygen and your blood is circulating. You are blessed to be here at this very moment. Focus on this. Find the good in this moment.
Look at Others. This goes with practicing gratitude. There are so many people who are in situations that they can not change. If you can change your situation then do it! Go above and beyond and do something for someone else instead of thinking about yourself. Buy a coworker a cup of coffee, pay for someone in the drive thru line, compliment someone, leave a hefty tip. Doing for others is a great way to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
“To be content, look backward on those who possess less than yourself, not forward on those who possess more. If this does not make you content, you don’t deserve to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
Ask Yourself, How is this Helping Me? Does focusing on these feeling improve or worsen my situation? Is feeling sorry for myself motivating me to improve my current situation? It is time to accept how you feel, accept what happened to you and let it go. Chances are your self pity is not serving you. The only way it serves you is by keeping you down and feeling even more self pity. You have to stop the cycle.
Seek Professional Help. You may need to seek professional help and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes talking to someone else is what you need. If you find yourself feeling down often and not able to overcome these feelings then you should reach out for help.
I really hope you found these tips helpful. Remember we all have these moments and it is okay. What is not okay is not facing the issues and keeping the cycle going. Thank you for letting me share my struggle and I hope you found something in this post for yourself.